lifebeyond4limbs.com

One year ago today, I began my journey as an amputee. I chose to amputate my lower left leg after six years of unsuccessful surgeries and unrelenting pain. It was the most agonizing and difficult decision I have ever had to make. In the end I had to take the chance with amputation because I could no longer live with the excruciating pain the leg caused. The amputation freed me from the bondage of my wicked leg, however living with a leg amputation is not easy and comes with a whole host of challenges. In the wake of the amputation, I was fortunate to discover something that completely reversed what could have been the most difficult year of my life: challenging myself through physical fitness. The harder I pushed myself in the gym, the easier it became to accept and handle my daily challenges. I grew into a strong, determined, very capable and confident person. I learned that amputation didn’t have to stop or define my life. In fact, the human body is capable of adapting to physical change and accomplishing incredible things.

The following is a video that highlights what, ironically, has turned out to be a great year and one of many accomplishments. My hope is that I will motivate you to not let fear stop you from achieving what you are capable of. Everything I have accomplished has been the result of a positive attitude, determination, hard work and learning to align my brain with my body.

Please visit my website lifebeyond4limbs.com to learn more about my story or for support in dealing with amputation or leg injury.

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The following are the six things that I attribute to my success in quickly becoming a confident, active and fully independent single-leg amputee. Each of the five recommendations can be adjusted to fit any lifestyle the individual amputee wants. You also don’t have to be an amputee to take something away from reading this. I sugarcoat nothing; they are from the School of Hard Knocks, but like everything else in life you don’t gain anything without hard work. “No pain, No gain”

Adopt the right attitude:

“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” ~ Carl Jung

This quote is so true – it is up to you what you become.

The attitude you choose will 100% determine what your life as an amputee will be like. You have two choices: you can either let amputation destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you. Every day I am well aware of how quickly dealing with amputation could spiral downward into depression. I refuse to let it; I choose to live positively with my circumstances. Having a positive attitude is very powerful. Something as simple as getting in the habit of replying “very well” or “excellent” to the question, “How are you today?” makes a huge difference in how you start to feel.

Embracing my next five suggestions will be very beneficial in helping you maintain a positive attitude and living a full active life.

Invest in the crutches:

Your goal will be to get fitted for a prosthesis and learn to walk with it. The prosthesis will become the main ambulatory device you use, but without a backup assistive devise you will find yourself immobile an awful lot. I am all for whatever works best for the individual amputee as long as they can remain happy independent amputees. I view my prosthesis and my crutches as tools, and I use the tool that works best for the job. I am a very active, independent, full-time employed amputee! To maintain an independent and productive lifestyle as a lower-limb amputee, both my prosthesis and my crutches are very necessary tools. I use both independently of each other daily to maintain a normal and highly productive life.

I do understand that crutches can be difficult for some people to use, and there are medical conditions that would prevent someone from using them. If a medical condition doesn’t prevent you from using crutches though, investing the time and effort into learning to become comfortable and proficient on them will be invaluable. Having the ability to use a pair of crutches as a single-leg amputee gives you another tool for your independence. For the rest of your life you are going to have times when you won’t be wearing the prosthetic. The stump sometimes just needs a break; morning bathroom routines, relaxing in the evening, night-time bathroom trips, various activities such swimming or when dealing with stump and prosthetic issues. I find that having crutches available to quickly grab and go with, to accomplish these things without the prosthetic, makes all the difference in being a 100% active and independent amputee. I can’t stress enough how much being willing to integrate crutches into my life has helped. Do some research in finding a quality pair of crutches that work for you, and then invest the effort into learning to be independent with them. Discovering the value of crutches will take a whole lot of stress out of only having one leg. View crutches as tools that help you, not torture devices that hinder you.

“Crutches are an absolute necessity, especially for a single-leg amputee because they provide the most efficient means of transportation.”      ~Madeleine Anderson http://www.amputeecoalition.org/inmotion/mar_apr_10/overview_crutches.html

Find Your Independence:

This isn’t a leg injury that you lay around with, getting waited on for six weeks and then it’s over. Yes, you will need someone to help you in the beginning and you must accept the help, but this is for life. It is very important that you get up and take back your independence as quickly as possible. It might seem cruel and harsh, but I can’t stress how important independence is. The loss of a leg will certainly make you feel completely dependent on others. With some hard work and determination you will soon learn that you can do much more than you thought. Each day, take back doing one additional thing for yourself. It won’t be easy; things will get spilled. There will be plenty of tears. You will become an excellent hopper and your sound leg will become very tried, but in the end your gains will be well worth the struggles. I cried while trying to navigate the men’s room on my first day back to work, five weeks post-op, but I went back and mastered it the next day. (Large area, no grab bars, pants fell off, what I can say?) Accomplishing things independently will give you confidence, help you remain positive and boost your overall recovery.

Get Physical:

We have all heard the saying, “A body in motion wants to stay in motion. A body at rest seeks more rest.” The quicker you get your body back in motion, the better off you will be. The longer you sit, the tougher it will be to get up and get your life back, even after you get your prosthesis. You will need strength and a great deal of balance to succeed with the prosthesis. There are so many ways of getting plenty of exercise while non-weight bearing, both at home and at a gym. Just getting up and moving around the house on crutches is great exercise. Once the stump is healed, I can’t emphasize how much getting involved in physical activities can help you. The confidence, balance and independence I have gotten from pushing myself physically has made my life wonderful and complete.

It doesn’t matter where you start, what counts is that you start and don’t give up.

Make sure you clear exercise with your doctor before starting.

Don’t Limit Yourself:

Never say “I can’t.” Being an amputee doesn’t mean your life is over. Decide how you want to live and put the work in to get there. Don’t limit yourself because you think an amputee can’t do something. You can accomplish anything you want. Be determined, set goals and work hard to accomplish them. Sometimes it’s painful, frustrating and an immense amount of work, but I have accomplished everything I set out to since becoming an amputee.

Find a Hobby or Activity You Enjoy:

This is how you make yourself feel whole and full again. Immerse yourself into an activity that you can become passionate about. Music, sport, art, writing, pottery – anything that makes you feel good! My father in-law retired to Florida and has made his life wonderful by immersing himself into playing music. It makes his life full and enjoyable. He is not thinking about being retired because he is having the time of his life doing something he loves. I didn’t think I could ever find something that could give me that feeling after losing my mobility and then facing amputation. However, I have found something and it has made my life wonderful. For me it’s challenging myself though exercise and sport. Having that focus on something that gives you fulfillment and enjoyment takes the focus off what you’ve lost and gives your life fullness.

I have said it many times – I live a happy, active, fulfilled life with one leg. It wasn’t by accident either; it took choosing a positive attitude, determination to live without limits and a whole lot of work. It never ceases to amaze me how much the human body can adapt to if the mind is willing. It’s never over – the positive attitude, determination and hard work need to continue every single day. There is nothing easy about being an amputee, but you can still enjoy life. I have never put so much work into living, but the payoff has been well worth the effort.

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For the first time since becoming an amputee I have felt defeat. After planning and waiting three months for my definitive leg, I didn’t even wear it for twenty-four hours before it caused stump troubles. That’s right – the prosthetic leg that has been perceived by so many since my amputation as the cure to all my problems, has actually caused problems. My awesome new leg that I was so excited about has cause bruising and blistering, returning me to 100% dependency on my crutches for a few weeks.

I have yet to feel what a well-fitting socket is like. When I received my temporary leg in December it fit perfectly for about a week, however the stump was too painful to appreciate it. By two weeks I was already layering 9 ply of socks. By the time my stump had toughened up and the leg became tolerable to bear weight with, I was up to 12 ply of sock. By April I was up to 15 plus ply, and by the time I received the new leg I had been wearing 22 ply of sock for months . So, while I was wearing the leg for a good amount of time and walking well with it, I never really experienced a comfortable well-fitting socket. It went from being a painful new experience to a bulky contraption that gave me the ability to walk on two legs.

In mid-April the process of getting a definitive leg began. It started with seeing a rehabilitation doctor to get a prescription. Next was the physical therapy evaluation to prove I was a highly active amputee, then the casting for the custom liner, followed by weeks of waiting for the liner to be made. After this came the casting for the new socket, followed by the fittings. While all this was going on I was searching for the perfect foot to match my lifestyle. Finally, three months in the making, I was wearing my new leg home.

During the three months of planning and building the leg I had conjured up in my mind the imaging of the perfect leg. The elevated vacuum system socket was going to feel like a bedroom slipper. The foot built for high impact was going roll through each step like a dream, and the icing on the cake would be having it all wrapped up in a cool carbon black package.

When leg day finally came I couldn’t wait to see and feel my super cool carbon black leg. As I walked into the fitting room there it was, everything I had hoped for. I put the leg on, stood up and began pacing back and forth across the room. While the socket had some discomfort, it fit well around the stump, making it a lot less bulky than the old leg and feeling more a part of my body. After a few minutes my prosthetist said “Let’s go out and walk in the hall.” As soon as I stepped into the hall and saw the long empty corridor I took off running. Not fast, but nevertheless running. I must have run up and down that hall 12 times. It felt amazing! And while there was certainly discomfort to the stump, the new foot was everything I had hoped for. It was alive and gave me feedback that made it possible to do some running.

I left the office ecstatic about the leg. I couldn’t wait to show it off and see what it was capable of doing. It was late in the day on a Thursday and by the time I removed the leg at around 9 pm I had a faint, large red hickey-like marking on the bottom of my stump. Due to the stump hickey I took it easy on Friday, only wearing the leg for a short time. On Saturday morning I was ready to give the new leg its test for riding my bike. I donned the leg and walked around the house a bit to work out some discomfort, and then I was ready to ride. Once on the bike, the new foot didn’t disappoint. The motion of pedaling was much more fluid and natural than with the temporary leg. Also, the new socket has an elevated vacuum system, which means that as you walk there is a pump that sucks the air out of the socket, holding it securely onto the stump. As I rode I could feel the pump working. In a strange sort of way, it actually felt nice. It was like a stump massage with every pedal. I rode about 8 or 9 miles before returning home. As I stood and applied weight to the leg there was pain, but nothing more than I feel after any other bike ride. The rest of the day I did some light yard work and then did some pool maintenance. While working around the pool I began to experience some pretty significant pain, to the point where I barely made it inside to take the leg off. I removed the leg and then removed the new custom liner. To my surprise, not only did I have a large red bruise on the bottom of my stump, but within the bruise were several blisters. I counted 12, but my wife confirmed that there were in fact many more than that.

Bottom of Stump

I felt so defeated; my new super-cool leg had let me down. Not only did I feel completely beaten, but I couldn’t believe I was so stupid to not realize that something was wrong before the stump got that bad. Plain and simple, I was so excited to see what the new leg could do that I was pushing the limits. Instead of paying attention to what I was feeling, I was too focused on proving I was unstoppable and wanting the leg to be perfect. I should have been taking it easy breaking the new socket in and constantly monitoring the skin on the stump. Instead, what had happen was that while biking, the pump was constantly trying to pull the end of the stump down into the socket, causing a sucking effect on the skin. This in turn caused the end of the stump to bruise. If I had checked the stump directly after the bike ride the bruise would have most likely been the only issue, but as I continued to walk the blisters formed. For the first time since being an amputee I felt defeated. Maybe I do have limits?

Truthfully my feeling of defeat came from not being able to storm the track immediately to begin training for running a 5K. I had my heart set on running. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I want to run. It seems ridiculous because I wasn’t a runner when I had two healthy legs, so why would I want to run as an amputee? I don’t know the answer to that; all I know is that I have this great desire to run. I guess it is a case of you always want what you can’t have. Maybe it’s just the need to feel that freedom. I don’t know; all I know is I’ve got to run. Now, once again, running seemed like nothing more than a dream.
The next two weeks were spent one-legged to heal the bruise and blisters. Much to my surprise I had become much more dependent on my prosthesis than I thought. This surprised me due to all the physical activities and gym workouts I do without the leg. While in the gym it is normal for me to be one-legged; in fact, I have become accustomed to working out on one leg. Outside the gym though, I have very much come to be dependent on the prosthesis for my daily life.

This whole thing has been frustrating and difficult to deal with. However, I have chosen to use it as a learning experience. The biggest thing I have learned is that I will continue my workouts as I have done for the past ten months. My ability to be fully capable one-legged without the prosthesis paid off. Skin problems on the stump is a very typical amputee issue and when it occurs I want to be able to continue on with my active life while the stump heals. While more difficult and with plenty of inconvenience, I haven’t missed a beat while the stump healed. Two days later I crutched all around a large college campus with my son on a college tour and didn’t give it a thought. I have also learned that when getting a new socket, I need to slow down and break it in. That doesn’t mean I have limits. Rather, I just had to refocus on the fact that I am a very capable one-legged guy. I put training for running on the back burner and have been focusing on doing higher box jumps one-legged. Lastly, I learned that a prosthetic leg is a wonderful thing that I have come to depend on for my everyday life, but I possess the power to have or not have limitations, not the prosthesis.

I will still run that 5K. I just have to realize that while I don’t want to have limits, sometimes in life other things can cause temporary limits. First I need to get accustomed to the new leg socket. In time it will allow me to give the foot a real test. If not, we will need to look into other options for sockets. There will be no giving up!

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“This will not only be my first time competing in the Warrior Dash, but I will also be competing as a recent amputee. I am going to crawl through mud, climb, hop and roll through 12 obstacles along a 3.2-mile course.  I will be doing all this on one leg and crutches, no prosthesis, proving that anything is possible in order to support St. Jude patients. Will you join the fight with us?”

This was the statement I made on my personal donation page back in February, just over four months post leg amputation surgery. At that time, I really didn’t know how I would pull off a feat of this magnitude. What I did know though was that I was determined to live my life without excuses or limitations. I would do whatever it took to accomplish anything I set out to do. I did not set a goal I knew I could accomplish. Instead, I set a goal for which I would need to grow into the person who could accomplish it.

Six weeks before the Warrior Dash the training began. Not that I wasn’t busting my butt in the gym each week before that, but I changed my focus to what I felt I needed to do to prepare. For those of you not familiar with the Warrior Dash, it is a 5k obstacle course. I was participating in the New York Warrior Dash which takes place on a Ski Mountain, so half the course is going up the mountain. 1 1/2 miles up the mountain and then 1 1/2 miles back down. So, after watching videos of each of the obstacles and knowing that I would need to be climbing a mountain, I went to work.

Approximate Route of Coarse

My greatest obstacle would be the mountain terrain, not the obstacles themselves. The first thing I knew was that the prosthetic leg would be left in the car. I am not your typical amputee. Many think I am crazy and don’t understand, but the biggest reason I have accomplished so much and have been able to live without limits in the past 10 months is because I refuse to limited myself to my prosthesis. I view my prosthesis and my crutches as tools and I use the tool that works best for the job. That is how I operate and I am living a full active independent life this way, so that is how I will continue to operate. My prosthesis would not make the grade in climbing up ski trails. The foot is too stiff and with no give at the ankle, so the force on my stump and knee would have me keeling over in pain two tenths of a mile in. Not only that, but the prosthesis certainly would not hold up wading through mud and water. For the Warrior Dash, the crutches (sidestix) were the best tool for the job. Therefore, building upper body strength and endurance to crutch 3.2 miles on hilly terrain was the focus of my training.

My six weeks of training consisted of the following.

• Going to the track and walking 3.2 miles one legged with crutches.
• Every Sunday morning I added 100 burpees into my workout.
• Hitting the weights hard, 3 days a week to build upper body strength.
• Using my lunch hour to walk up and down State Street one legged with crutches. State Street is a street near my office that is called Capitol Hill for good reason.
• Every evening did kettlebell swings and deadlifts. This was beyond workouts and walking.
• To build shoulder strength, every evening I worked on handstand push-ups until I mastered them.
• In addition to my daily workouts – one hour of training with a trainer – I added in exercise classes at the gym.

The Day of the Warrior Dash

Crawling Under Barbed Wire

My daughter, son and I arrived at the starting line at 11:45 AM. When the torches were lit we were off on the first stretch of the Dash, which followed a beginner’s trail to the mid-mountain lodge. On the way we encountered the first obstacle – Stocktop Unfiltered. This obstacle required climbing under and over a series of walls. Trenches were the second obstacle just before we approached the mid-mountain lodge. Here we crawled through covered trenches dug into the ground. We then proceeded behind the mid-mountain lodge and headed over to the main mountain of the ski area. By the way, if you’ve never climbed a beginner’s trail, it is a whole lot steeper to climb up than to ski down. On the path to the main mountain we conquered the Chaotic Cargo obstacle, which was a dome-framed structure covered with a cargo net in which you climbed up and over. Then we were off to the mid-mountain of the main ski area, climbing the ropes over the Deadman drop and then heading down an intermediate ski trail. Before we knew it we were cutting through the woods, where we slid down an embankment on our butts to swim through an ice-cold muddy snowmaking pond. Dirty and wet, but feeling refreshed, we climbed out and continued down the mountain to the fifth obstacle called Pipeline. This was a contraption of pipes to crawl through made of cargo netting. We were back to the bottom of the mountain but far from the finish line. The next leg (excuse the pun) of the dash was climbing back to the mid-mountain via an intermediate trail with some pretty steep pitches, and then the Nastar Race course to the Diesel Dome. The Diesel Dome was a two-story framed barn (studded horizontally) to climb over. We then proceeded to the High Tension, an obstacle where we hung from a cargo net suspended over water by our arms. To cross you had to use the basic monkey bar hand-over-hand method of gripping the cargo net instead of bars. The good news was that it was all downhill from there. We headed back down the mountain with some crawling under barbed wire on the way, and the last obstacles awaited us at the base. There was the Warrior Roast, where we jumped over fire to get to the Goliath, a climb up a wall, a drop off the back side, a climb across a cargo net, then back up a wall to make our descent down a slide, plunging into a pool of muddy water. After we climbed out it was onto the last obstacle, Muddy Mayhem, a commando crawl through mud under barbed wire to the finish line. My feeling of elation overrode my aching body at that finish line. I had the most incredible feeling of accomplishment.

After changing into dry clothing, I put my leg on to give my arms a rest, enjoyed a refreshing beer and drove my family home on cloud nine. Honestly, I still haven’t come off the cloud.

I signed up for this challenge for a few reasons. Accomplishing physical challenges has been incredible for my confidence and has made my daily functioning as an amputee so much easier. If I can manage the Warrior Dash, I can get through my daily routines in a snap. I also like to find ways to use my challenges to raise funds or for causes, such as St. Jude. Lastly, I wanted to prove that anything is possible if you have the correct attitude and determination to succeed. Anyone who saw me on the Warrior Dash course that day got the message loud and clear. No limits, No excuses! To realize as I was making my way over each of the obstacles that crowds of participants had stopped to cheer me over was like nothing I have ever experienced. They refueled me, making me more determined to get to the finish line.

DJ Having the Crowd Cheer Me Across

Climbing Out of Muddy Mayham

For me there were two results of the day that were most amazing. The first was realizing that I truly can live an incredible life as an amputee, because I can accomplish anything I want. The second being that only a year ago I was sitting on the sidelines of active family events. Today I am able to successfully complete a grueling physical event like the Warrior Dash with my son and daughter by my side. It just doesn’t get any better than that!

Never, never give up, set your goals high and grow into the person who can achieve them. No limits, no excuses.

Next I will attempt to run a flat-land 5K using my new leg!

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“You have BRAINS in your head.
You have FEET in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any
Direction you choose”
~Dr. Seuss

In our lifetime we make many important high-ticket purchases. Many of them we spend weeks, months, even years weighing the options and searching for the best deal. Some of these purchases will have a significant impact our lives, such as a house or a car. We do our research, we tour many housing options, we test-drive cars and in many cases we can demo products, all to ensure we make the smartest purchase to fit our budget, suit our needs and improve our lives. My recent decision-making purchase has made buying a car or a house seem like child’s play. How in the world do you make the right choice in purchasing your left foot?

Will the BRAINS in my head
Pick the best FOOT for my shoes?
Will I be able to steer myself in the
DIRECTION I hope to choose?

The natural foot and ankle make up a very complicated structure. I found this out the hard way after destroying a very crucial component eight years ago. The human foot and ankle is made up of 26 bones, 33 joints, 107 ligaments and 19 major muscles and tendons. They all work together to make a strong, complex mechanical machine. Our feet allow us to stand upright, walk, run and jump. Indeed, it’s an extremely difficult machine to replicate with carbon fiber.

Yet despite the complexity of the human foot, modern technology has done an outstanding job creating prosthetic feet. There is a foot for every activity out there. And with any there aren’t a foot for, you can be sure that someone is in the process of creating one. Prosthetic feet are made for a huge range of users. There are feet for the low-activity amputee to the active high-impact sports-minded amputee and anywhere in between. Ossur makes 19 different adult feet alone. Then there are running blades, swimming fins, climbing feet, feet that clip into a ski binding and feet that clip onto a bike peddle. If you have the bucks there is a foot out there for everything you could possibly want to do. Unfortunately, most amputees don’t have the money to own a foot for each of the activities they enjoy, making finding the overall one foot that will function for all aspects of their lifestyle critical.

I own a house, a car and many other valuable and wonderful possessions. However, the most precious possessions I own are my prosthetic leg and my crutches. They are the most valuable to me because they are my mobility, my independence, and without them I would not have the quality of life I currently enjoy. One of these two possessions is with me at all times and never more than an arm’s reach away. They are so important to me that I have had moments of panic in the car where I have had to stop to double check to ensure the leg was on or the crutches were resting on the passenger seat.

So how do I choose the foot that will determine my lifestyle for the next three to five years? Which foot will make my everyday walking comfortable, work efficiently for biking, give me good function for yard work / household projects, and yet give me the shock absorption I need to protect my body while doing high-impact sports activities? I do my research, weigh my options and hope I make the right choice for me. It’s sort of like trying to have a fast sports car and heavy duty pick-up all in one, due to a one-car budget.

Three of the largest companies that make feet are Ossur, Ottbrock and RUSH Foot. So, not only do you need to choose which foot will give you the function you need, you need to decide which company produces the highest quality. Shockingly, just like Ford, Toyota and Honda, they all claim to be the best. And just as in buying a high-level car, when buying a high-functioning foot the reviews are pretty much all the same. It’s wonderful or it sucks, and a foot is so personal that what works great for one person’s body might not work at all for someone else. Without actually taking several different feet for a test run, can you really make the best choice the first time around?

At my last socket casting appointment for the new leg, I had the opportunity to try out one of the possibilities. Through much research and reading what users of the many different feet had to say, I narrowed it down to two options. They are both top of the line, high-functioning feet. One boasts about having rotation ability, while the other one lays claim to having the best vertical shock absorption. While my prosthetist was cleaning up, we began discussing the two feet and I mentioned that it was an impossible decision to make without being able to test them out for a few days. As it turned out, he had the foot featuring the rotation currently in the office. He attached it on to my prosthesis and I had the opportunity to take it for a walk. I loved the foot and the rotation feature was nice. After pretending to do golf swings and anything else to make the foot rotate, I ultimately decided the heavy duty vertical shock absorption would serve me better.

Have I made the right choice? I have no idea. I choose the one that in the specifications claims it will give me the best function I am looking for. The magic words were “offers the best vertical shock absorption of all our mechanical feet. With dynamic energy return and all-around responsiveness the foot is a great choice for active users.” The day of my last fitting, I will have the chance to spend as much time as I want walking around the office inside and outside to see what I think. If I don’t like it I will have the opportunity to reject the foot, however once it leaves the premises it’s mine to keep. That all sounds wonderful, but I will also have a whole new socket to become accustomed to, so will I really be able to make a determination on the foot that day? I have made plenty of poor consumer choices in my life and many excellent ones. The foot I tried was pretty darn nice, so if it is even a tiny bit better than the one I tried I will be thrilled.

I am super excited to take possession of my new high-tech leg and foot. Every component of the leg will be carbon fiber black and super gadget looking. The function is most important, but if you can’t have your real leg, you might as well have your fake one look super cool. Shorts will be a must to show it off! The jury is still out on whether I made the right foot choice, so stay tuned. The full report will be out in a few weeks.

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