lifebeyond4limbs.com

Limb Loss Awareness Month is a month dedicated to:
Providing support for amputees and caregivers
Educating the limb loss community
Raising public awareness about amputation
Teaching about amputation prevention
Advocating for the limb loss community

The loss of a limb is a life-changing event. The person’s life will never be the same again and the recovery can be a long and difficult road. The prosthesis is only a tool; it will not magically replace the missing limb and make life perfect. However, the loss of a limb is not the end of life, as with the proper attitude, hard work and building the proper physical strength, amputees can live a full and active life. There are an estimated 2 million people in the United States living with limb loss, and a staggering 500 Americans lose a limb each day. The number one reason for limb loss is vascular disease, which includes diabetes. The number two reason is trauma; the third cause of limb loss is cancer and the fourth is congenital limb deficiencies. Below-knee amputees represent more than half of the amputee population. The huge advancements in prosthetics has certainly had a large impact on getting amputees back to their lives, but living with limb loss is a lifelong challenge. With the proper education, tools and support, amputees can learn to overcome the daily challenges and live good successful lives.

A month dedicated to amputee awareness is wonderful, but I live with the loss of a leg and I want to find ways to spread awareness every day. Not only spreading awareness year round, but to mentor, educate and show amputees that they can still lead full, active and successful lives. I have been blessed to have a positive attitude and strong determination to live my life as an amputee without limits. In all my 50 years of living I have never been more sure of what my next 50 years will be – giving back by helping not only amputees, but everyone to live healthy active lives.

Educating the public about amputation by showing amputee pride.

The amputation of a limb is something most people couldn’t ever imagine happening to them. The sight of a missing limb on someone else can be startling, especially to a child. People are often uncomfortable with amputation because they can’t conceive of living life missing a limb. This makes approaching an amputee or the subject of amputation uncomfortable for them. They have no idea how the amputee feels and lack the knowledge of what it is like to be an amputee. When I first returned to work without my leg, I had many co-workers avoid me because seeing the missing limb was shocking and uncomfortable, so they didn’t know how to approach me. One co-worker asked another “I knew Darryl was out, but what happened to him?” He couldn’t bring himself to ask me or even say “how are you doing?” I have also overheard whispered discussions about my lack of leg. “Why did he have his leg amputated?” “Look, that poor guy only has one leg.” “I can’t imagine having to live with only one leg.” “It’s not nice to stare.” The following story is one that I have experienced more than once and I know it is a common occurrence for other amputees.

A few months ago I was having dinner at the local diner. In the booth directly across from mine there was a mother, father and young son, probably around 3 or 4 years old. Shortly after they were seated the young boy said to his parents, “Look, that man doesn’t have a leg.” They quickly put their hands to his lips and told him to be quiet. He then said, “Why doesn’t he have a leg?” The father quickly swung around into the booth seat his son was sitting in so he could shield the boy’s view of me. I understand that they were embarrassed and were trying to prevent their son from offending me, but they failed miserably in their attempt. They failed because they assumed questions would offend me and that interrupting my dinner would be rude. The parent’s actions offended me, not the little boy’s curious questions. I would have happily answered the boy’s questions if I had been given the chance. However, after his parents hushed him and then blocked his view of me, I didn’t feel it appropriate to approach them. So, I uncomfortably finished my dinner and the parents spent their dinner making sure they never made eye contact with me. Instead of this being a wonderful learning opportunity for this young boy or an opportunity for an interesting conversation for the parents, we all lost. This could have all been avoided if they had simply said, “Excuse me, do you mind talking about your leg?”

Yes, I get it, they were only doing exactly what we were taught to do. It’s not polite to stare or to ask questions. How would they know it was okay to ask? I didn’t let them know it was okay to ask.

So how did I change these reactions and make people feel comfortable approaching me? By making it my problem, not theirs. I am a very capable amputee. I can do anything someone with all four limbs can, I just do it a little differently. I present myself as positive, confident, capable and independent, and that is how people see and treat me. If I read that someone I am interacting with is uncomfortable, I put my lack of leg out onto the table. I simply find that a short conversation with someone about my amputation makes a huge difference. Honestly, I usually just find a way to work in a one-legged joke. It is like magic; it breaks the uncomfortableness and suddenly my lack of leg is no longer looming over the conversation. At this point anyone I pass daily or have any interaction with at work or anywhere else is very comfortable with the amputation because I put it on myself to show that I am a fully capable and approachable human being.

By the way, I have had people say “do you mind talking about your leg?” My answer is “I am happy to talk about my leg.” The conversation is always a very rewarding one for both parties.

During my recent trip to Disney I happily discussed my lack of leg with many curious children.

That is what I want to show people – that it is okay to approach me and ask questions because I am a proud amputee. This is why I find ways to invite conversation or show my amputation humor. What better way to spread education and awareness about amputation than to evoke conversation? And who knows, something I say could possibly prevent someone else from needing an amputation in the future. A conversation could also lead to helping someone they know who might be dealing with an amputation.

The prosthesis
During shorts season my prosthetic leg or stump will be exposed for the world to see. I have no intentions of trying to shield it with covers that look like skin or wear pants to cover it. The pipe will be exposed and the socket will sport my custom cover that, if nothing else, will let people know my attitude. I have been tempted to hem my left pant leg so that the prosthetic would always be seen. That’s a bit extreme though, so I will just have a pair or two hemmed for when I am visiting new amputees at the hospital or an occasion that seems appropriate.

Tee shirts
I have several tee shirts that show my humor and which are hopefully conversation starters.

Car window decal
I have this decal in the rear window of my car, just one more way of showing I am open to talking about being an amputee. After only two days of placing the decal in my rear window, I had a half dozen people make positive comments about it. One said, “Is that your car out there with the I’m Stumped window sticker?” I said, “Yes it is.” His response: “You made my day.”

Tattoo
I am not at all a tattoo person, however I find myself very drawn to having one done to make a powerful statement. I am not talking about one on my face or neck or one that is loud and wraps all around an arm or leg. I am talking about a simple statement on the back of my right calf that represents how I have handled my circumstance. Of course, it needs to show humor as well.

These are the conversation pieces on the coffee table. The conversation starters that show I am comfortable with my limb loss, so everyone else should be too.

Mentor new amputees and motivate amputees to get out and live.

My determination to quickly get back to work, back to life and be completely independent taught me that having one leg wasn’t going to stop me. I want to show the world that I am capable of doing anything I want, whether I am wearing my prosthesis or not. This gives awareness that amputees are very capable people. My hope is that it will teach, help and encourage new or struggling amputees that life doesn’t end with amputation. With the right attitude and determination they too can live active and full lives. I also want to motivate not only amputees, but everyone to give up the excuses, and improve their lives by getting active and healthy.

In the fall I will become certified as an Amputee Peer Mentor. Once I have this certification I will make myself available to meet with new amputees or those facing amputation and their families. Facing life with an amputation can be devastating. Hopefully, having an amputee who is happily living a full active life to talk with will give them hope and make their transition easier.

 Give amputees the resources they need to return to their lives.

I was very fortunate that I had the luxury of preparing for the loss of my leg. I also had good medical insurance to pay for all the medical bills and the prosthesis. My family had the financial resources necessary to survive. This is not the case for many amputees. The amputation is often sudden and without time to plan. Without the opportunity to prepare, facing limb loss is devastating and makes the mental recovery more difficult than the physical recovery. Amputation can also lead to loss of income and even permanent job loss. Many amputees don’t have sufficient medical insurance to cover their medical bills and no coverage for prosthetics. These situations leave the amputee without a limb, depressed, unable to return to work and unable to support their family. Therefore, I would like to find ways to raise funds for organizations who step in and help amputees and their families. These organizations help with paying for the prosthetic, help with medical bills and help with the adjustments including the counseling needed to successfully return to life as an amputee.

Little by little I will work towards fulfilling my goals. Year round I will wear my shirts, flash my prosthetic leg, push my limits at the gym, write motivating blog posts, do amputee peer mentoring and contemplate the tattoo. I will also get to work planning and organizing events and challenges to raise funds for amputee foundations.

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The results of the amputation have far exceeded my expectations. Six months of positive attitude, determination and hard work have had a huge payoff. The amputation took care of the debilitating painful leg and the prosthesis gave me a new option for walking, but it was the attitude I chose that allowed me to overcome the challenges of losing a leg and reclaiming my life.

I have achieved a full active life through determination, optimism and finding the balance in using the prosthetic or the crutches to remain 100% active. It’s all in the attitude you choose!

Never Give Up!

What will the next six months bring? Biking, swimming, completing the St. Jude’s Warrior Dash, becoming a personal trainer and becoming a certified Peer Amputee Mentor.

Thank you for reading! Please subscribe to never miss a post or come back in two weeks for my next post, I will discuss Amputee Awareness Month.

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“I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.”
Walt Disney

If you know me or have been following my story on my blog, you’ll know that I am a very capable amputee. I push myself physically and don’t believe in the easy way out. I am making good progress on tolerance and duration in wearing my prosthesis, but as long as I have a pair of crutches nothing stops me. So it might surprise you that I will use a scooter for my upcoming family vacation to Disney World.

I pride myself on the physical condition I work very hard to achieve and maintain. I also pride myself on my physical abilities and not using any assistive devices in the gym. I do full-body workouts without the use of the prosthetic leg. The only time I use the prosthesis in the gym is for the purpose of strengthening my stump leg and integrating the prosthetic leg into my daily life. I do this because it is very important to me to train my body not to be dependent on a piece of manmade equipment. I have made myself very capable with just one leg and am quickly becoming very capable with the prosthetic leg. That’s how I want to remain capable – with or without the leg. I only have one full natural leg and I never want to be in a position where the prosthesis fails and my life is on hold until I can get to a prosthetist.

Mobility products are made to improve our lives, to make them easier and safer. My bathroom is equipped with safety bars and a shower seat. I use my prosthesis or my crutches in my daily living. I take every advantage of assistive devices in my daily life because they make life better. With this same thinking there are circumstances where a scooter has its place. My pride and determination tells me that I don’t need a scooter, but if I ask myself the question “Will choosing not to utilize a scooter negatively impact my enjoyment of Disney or my family’s enjoyment of Disney?” then the honest answer would be yes. So, for part of the planning for our family trip to Disney World, I have made arrangements to rent a scooter.

Disney World is a huge place. Add in April break crowds and you are walking and standing for most of the day. In an article from AllEars.Net by Nancy Miller, she estimates walking 6 to 8 miles a day, with 3 hours a day just standing in lines. This early on, with getting accustom to using my prosthesis, I would destroy my stump with that amount of walking and standing. Could I do Disney on crutches? Maybe, but as comfortable and as mobile as I am with crutches, the reality is that negotiating the crowds along with the amount of walking and standing involved in a day at a Disney park would just subject my body to too much abuse. I would quickly become exhausted and suffer a great deal of discomfort standing in the lines with the crutches. Disney is a very special place for my family. Making a decision to only use crutches or the prosthetic would quickly make Disney a place we no longer enjoyed. The scooter will not only allow me to enjoy the week, but allow my family to enjoy the week too. It will give me the ability to fully participate in everything my family wants to do and enjoy it. Just as I use my prosthetic and crutches to make my everyday life enjoyable and independent, the scooter will allow me independence to enjoy the parks. If I am struggling with the prosthetic or exhausting myself with crutches it’s not only me not having fun, but my family suffers as well. It’s not a workout at the gym, it is a vacation, time to have life a little easier.

While it will be my first foray to Disney as an amputee, it will be the fourth trip for which I have utilized a scooter. The first trip that I used a scooter for was in April of 2009. At that time I had underwent two ankle surgeries and had for the most part been on crutches for just under a year. I was in a lot of pain and really was unable to put any weight at all on the ankle. I had a great deal of anxiety about how I would ever be able to enjoy the trip in my condition. Luckily, in the Orlando area there are many mobility companies that cater to Disney visitors with mobility issues. They rent scooters out for the duration of your Disney visit. The hotels and scooter companies work together, taking all the stress out of getting the scooter. It is delivered to your hotel and waiting for your arrival, and when you check out of the hotel the scooter is left at the front desk and you’re on your way. So, after doing a bit of research I called and arranged for the rental of a scooter from an outside company in Orlando. When I arrived at the Disney hotel where we were staying the scooter was there waiting for me.

The world I live and work in is not one designed for easily cruising around on a mobility scooter. At the time of that first visit with limited mobility, I had already been on crutches long enough to have concluded that, while difficult, they were my best option for maintaining an independent lifestyle. The fact was I had already fully experienced the challenges of living with a mobility disability in an able-bodied world. Once in Disney it was like I was transported into a “magical place” where even someone with mobility difficulties could fully enjoy everything Disney had to offer. Between Disney being set up completely handicap accessible and the scooter, not having to constantly worry about how I would get myself from one point to another was a vacation in itself.

The cast members were excellent. It didn’t matter if I was loading a bus or transferring from the scooter to a ride, I never felt anything but the same kindness and respect they give every other guest. When I loaded a ride, I would hand my crutches to the cast member and the cast member at the end of the ride would be magically standing there ready to hand me back my crutches. Bus drivers were right there ready to load the scooter, monorail attendants were right ready to place the wheelchair ramps, and every building had doors that automatically slid open so you could roll in and out with zero effort.

While Disney’s recent policy changes for guests with disabilities has had many people with disabilities up in arms, I really don’t think it will change my experience. The policy changes affect guests with autism or cognitive disabilities. Basically, there is no longer line-cutting for guests with disabilities. If the guest has a condition that prevents them from long waits, they need the Disability Access Service Card. The card will allow them to get a return time at the attractions based on the current wait time. I can see why the new policy might change the Disney experience for guests who are unable to tolerate extended waits, but it really shouldn’t affect someone with mobility issues. The change was necessitated due the extreme line-cutting abuse that was going on with wheelchairs. Most of the attraction lines are set up to accommodate a wheelchair to easily pass through. A scooter will easily zip through many of them, therefore unless you have a condition where you cannot tolerate the waits there is no need to cut the line. Those few rides that don’t have wheelchair access still allow back entry, they just give the wheelchair user and their family a fair wait time.

My situation doesn’t cause me any more harm or anxiety waiting in line than anyone else. Let’s face the facts, nobody enjoys lines. So as long as I can sit while waiting, I need no special treatment by cutting lines. This is where the scooter becomes the necessary accommodation.

I really have no idea how much I will use the prosthetic, crutches or scooter during this Disney trip. As with every first-time adventure as a new amputee, I face it positively armed with the proper tools and the correct attitude to ensure success. So many new situations will arise in this vacation as an amputee and with the prosthetic. It will be the first time wearing the prosthesis in a warmer, more humid climate. The change in climate could cause volume changes to the stump, making the prosthetic not fit comfortably. It will be the first time swimming with one leg and it will also be the first time riding amusement park rides as an amputee. Between the gel liner, multiple layers of socks and the sleeve that holds the prosthesis secure, it is very uncomfortable to bend my knee enough to sit in places with tight legroom. If the prosthetic makes riding Splash Mountain, Tower of Terror, Rocking Roller Coaster or even Peter Pan unpleasant, it then stays in the hotel room. No worries, I will grab the crutches and scooter and happily roll one-legged. It will most certainly put a new twist on our Disney vacations, but as with everything else it’s all in the ATTITUDE. I live my everyday life finding the balance between wearing the prosthesis and using my crutches to ensure I am enjoying a full active life. I will add one more mobility product in the mix for Disney, the scooter, to make sure I don’t become the dad sitting on the sidelines missing out on creating family memories.

I have made a wheelchair completely unnecessary in my everyday life, but I am realistic enough to know that managing Disney World is a complex matter. The scooter will keep the “magic” alive.

Thank you for reading! Please subscribe to never miss a post or come back in two weeks for my next post, Six months post-op update.

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Helpful information about Disney’s disability policies.

This link will give you information about services for guests with mobility disabilities. https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/guest-services/mobility-disabilities/

http://www.insidethemagic.net/2013/10/disney-releases-official-statement-rules-and-faq-on-new-disability-access-service-card-replacing-guest-assistance-card/

This link will give you information about services for guests with cognitive disabilities. https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/guest-services/cognitive-disabilities-services/

This link will give you information about services for guests with hearing disabilities. https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/guest-services/hearing-impaired-services/

This link will give you information about services for guests with hearing disabilities. https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/guest-services/visual-disability-services/

An overview of Disney’s services for guests with disabilities.
https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/guest-services/guests-with-disabilities/

What does a one-legged man do at the gym? Anything he wants.

Five months post leg amputation and I am in the best state of mind and physical shape that I have been in for a very long time. I have achieved this through vigorous exercise that has built muscle, improved my balance, given me confidence in my physical abilities, given me an incredible sense of pride and a healthy state of mind. My time and efforts in the gym have made the challenges of daily life as an amputee significantly easier. It has not only given my body the strength necessary, but it also has trained my body to compensate for the missing leg. I am a one-legged machine and there is no stopping me.

A few weeks ago I showed up for my weekly training session with my trainer. Sitting on the floor inserting my foot into the cradle of the TRX Trainer, my eye is diverted to a low platform used for box jumps. So I say to Holly my trainer, “Someday I want to do a box jump.” Honestly, as a one-legged man I didn’t really know if it would be possible; after all, just standing balanced on one leg has challenged me many times. Holly is one of the most positive individuals I have ever known. She never allows me slack due to having one leg and she has pushed and supported me physically from my first training session. So of course, Holly responds, “Let’s try one now.” Within minutes I am doing a box jump. One successful box jump later and Holly’s planned pyramid workout turned into an hour of box jumping. The more I jumped, the more adrenaline I had and the higher I wanted the box.

Mastering a box jump with two legs is tough, but with only one leg is quite a feat. Did I really think I would actually even do one box jump? No, not at all, but once I was standing in front of that platform I knew I wasn’t leaving that gym without accomplishing at least one small box jump. That first box jump changed how I perceive myself and my physical abilities, not only as an amputee but as a person.

A month shy of fifty years old and after becoming an amputee, I finally realize I am capable of doing anything I set my mind to. At that moment all I wanted was to leap up onto that platform and I wasn’t accepting I couldn’t do it.

Jumping up onto that platform didn’t happen overnight. I am not suggesting that everyone grabs a box, leaps on it and they are physically and mentally forever changed. I have worked extremely hard from the hours after I awoke from surgery to get to that box jump. It started with forcing myself up onto my crutches the very next morning, putting hours of work each day into beating the phantom pain, forcing myself to do things independently when I desperately wanted them done for me, to never taking the easy way out at the gym.

It wasn’t the box jump, it was the power that exercise and pushing my physical limits has that made the difference.

We all know that exercise is associated with weight loss and better physical health. The problem is just knowing that isn’t going to necessarily get us to the gym. The best motivator comes from the psychological benefits physical activity has.

The following is a list of psychological benefits that regular exercise can produce.

Improved mood
Reduced stress
Improved self-esteem
Pride in physical accomplishments
Increased satisfaction with oneself
Improved body image
Increased feelings of energy
Improved confidence in physical abilities
Decreased symptoms of depression

This list is from the Association For Applied Sport Psychology website. http://www.appliedsportpsych.org/resource-center/health-fitness-     resources/psychological-benefits-of-exercise/

When we spend a large portion of our days sitting, all the benefits on that list are lost. We become lazy, fatigued and our daily functions become strenuous. This can then cause unhappiness and poor health. For me pushing myself physically has made my daily life so much better and has given me every single one of those psychological benefits on that list. That’s what keeps me exercising, the incredible way I feel from the results. If I am having a crappy day or feeling down, I head for the gym and put myself through a strenuous workout. I leave the gym with sweat pouring off me, my heart rate elevated and exhausted, but at the same time I feel exhilarated and like a new man. You most certainly don’t need to be an amputee to benefit from exercise. It doesn’t matter who you are or what your physical capabilities are, the beauty of exercise is it can be adapted to any age, disability or physical condition. What matters is that you find what works for you and get out and start.

Here is how it works.

To realize the psychological benefits is going to take some work. You need to do sustained exercise a minim of three times a week. Your exercise regime should start slow at your physical level and build to where you are doing high-intensity workouts. High-intensity will depend on your current physical being; it is anything that causes rapid breathing and an increase in heart rate. If you don’t have an increase in heart rate and you don’t feel the pain, you are not getting the benefit and not seeing or feeling positive results. If your body feels like you worked it hard the next day then you are reaping the rewards.

You will also need to choose a physical goal to achieve. Once again, depending on where you are physically the goal can start out small. It could be mastering a sit-ups, running a quarter mile on the treadmill, holding a plank for 20 seconds or a small box jump. What is important is that you work to meet the goal and then challenge yourself to a new, more difficult goal.

The following four things that happen with regular sustained vigorous exercising will get you hooked.

1. Exercises builds muscle strength, boosts endurance and helps your cardiovascular system work more efficiently. By adding regular physical activity into your daily routine you will make your daily living much easier.
2. Our bodies have something called endorphins. Endorphins are chemicals in the brain that reduce pain and affect our mood. Physical activity stimulates these chemicals and can make you happier and more relaxed.
3. Exercise is an antidepressant. Research has shown that exercise can stimulate the growth of neurons in the brain that depression damages. Doing sustained vigorous exercises three times a week can actually work as effectively as taking antidepressants.
4. You need to feel the high. High-intensity exercise can leave you on a natural high better than any drug you could ever take. If you are willing to push yourself in a high-intensity workout or push the limits to accomplish higher physical goals, you will leave the gym feeling amazing. It is then that you start to feel euphoric and exercise becomes addictive.

The box jump gave me the high, which then gave me the physical confidence to push even harder. That weekend, on the ski slopes, I pushed myself from the intermediate trials to the expert trails. In the gym I pushed myself to a higher box and more challenging tasks. In my daily life I pushed to continue to become completely independent with one leg. The more I push in the gym, the less challenged my life as a leg amputee becomes.

My body has become a one-legged machine, one without limits. It didn’t start with the box jump. It began the morning after the amputation and with smaller goals that built as I felt the natural high in successfully meeting each goal. The high came from refusing the wheelchair and mastering walking independently down the halls of the hospital on my crutches. The next high came from reaping the benefits of the sustained physical work that allowed me to beat the phantom pain. Then the high came from giving my all at the gym and not only mastering TRX with one leg, but becoming a qualified TRX trainer. Another high came from mastering skiing on one leg when it seemed too exhausting and too painful to do. The box jump was just the defining moment when I realized that I am capable of doing anything I want.

No matter your age, disability, weight or current physical ability, give up the excuses and find a way to start. The best way to begin is to find a good trainer. Your trainer needs to be able to push your limits safely. If your trainer isn’t challenging you, they aren’t doing their job. As Holly says, “If you don’t have a love-hate relationship with your trainer, it’s all wrong”!!

You too can feel the exercise high. No excuses – go find the box-jump in you!

Before starting any exercise program check with your doctor first.

Thank you for reading! Please subscribe to never miss a post or come back in two weeks for my next post, I will discuss exploring Disney as a amputee.

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Resources

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/diet-fitness/slideshows/7-mind-blowing-benefits-of-exercise/3

http://www.merckmanuals.com/home/fundamentals/exercise_and_fitness/benefits_of_exercise.html

http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/staying-active-full-story/

http://www.appliedsportpsych.org/resource-center/health-fitness-resources/psychological-benefits-of-exercise/

A little over four months ago I entered the operating room to have my lower left leg amputated. I left the operation minus a left leg, but with the determination to get my life back. I wanted to relieve myself from debilitating and relentless pain. If I could relieve the pain I promised myself that I would never let anything hold me back. I would get my active life back – whether it was one-legged with crutches, or with a prosthetic leg, I would use whichever tool that worked.

So far the one leg and crutches have worked the best. I can grab my crutches and roll pain free. In fact, while walking with the crutches I don’t give my left leg a thought, which in itself is huge, as the leg was a consent preoccupation for six years. At the end of the day I can flop into bed, melt into comfort and sleep like a log, and once again I don’t give the leg a thought all night long. This is liberating and I feel wonderful. My goal was met, I will forever be grateful, and now I won’t let anything stand in my way. I will get the prosthetic leg worked out, but right now all I am doing is fighting with it and it holds me back. So I grab my crutches and move, or in this story grab my outriggers (forearm crutches equipped with small skis at the bottoms) and soar.

A year ago I posted a two-part story about how skiing shaped my life. Skiing was a huge part of my life and how I spent quality time with my family. At the time I wrote the story, I had pretty much given up on the thought of skiing. I was happy to have found ways to get out for a run or two, but that was not my idea of skiing. I was basically forcing myself out on the hill, fighting pain for a few runs and really just counting the minutes until I got back to the safety of the lodge. So, after a run or two I would release my wife and kids from the beginner’s trail and take my pain-withered body back home.

Last May when I seriously discussed amputating my leg with the surgeon I said, “The leg is holding me back, it is just in my way and I don’t care if I have to use crutches or a prosthetic to walk for the rest of my life. I will be so much better off without the leg.” The example I gave was skiing, and I showed him the video of me skiing, holding my pain-ridden leg out of the way.

Now, four months post-amputation I wouldn’t trade my crutches for the painful leg for anything. I am more active than ever and I will never let the loss of my leg stop me from accomplishing anything I want.

So, after a having a difficult week and struggling with the prosthetic leg, Friday afternoon I load into the car with my wife and kids and head out to spend the weekend skiing – the once-treasured ski weekends that I have dreaded for the past seven years. However, this weekend was different. At the beginning of the ski season I was determined to ski and wasn’t giving up. I had the skill, and now freed of the dead leg, I would once again ski with my family, and I mean really ski.

The previous weekends I had been out working on skill, slowly building up leg tolerance and conquering the fear of flying down the hill on one leg. I was determined this would be the weekend I would push the limits, defeat my fears and ski more than a few runs on the beginner’s trail.

First run Sunday morning I load the chair lift with my wife and son and head for the top of the mountain. My destination was a newly-cut trail that was reported to be narrow and to have a hairy steep drop at one point. Did I feel confident that I could do it? No, but that was exactly the reason I had to ski it. The fact was I had the skill, so it was the fear of skiing the trail with one leg that I was scared of. I knew I had to do it for the very reason I thought I couldn’t: FEAR due to my lack of confidence from missing a leg. I unloaded the lift at the summit and just started skiing. When I got to the top of the steep drop, I stopped, took a peek over the edge, made sure no one was in danger of having me take them out, took a deep breath and went for it. I made it down without a hitch. All I could think about was that four months ago I laid in the operating room and had my left leg cut off, and now I was flying down this hill free from the bondage of the painful left leg. How awesome is that?!

A lot of determination, fighting my fears, a little boot work and I really truly now feel like I have my life back. I am skiing trails I never thought I would ski again. I spent the whole morning having fun, enjoying time with my wife and son. It took six years and amputating my leg, but with determination and not giving up, I have finally felt the incredible feeling of freedom flying down the hill on skies has – the very thing that made me fall in love with skiing when I was a kid. The best part is skiing with my wife and enjoying her company for a coffee break in the mid mountain lodge, which is something I never thought would happen again.

A weekend which I went into upset and stressed about the poor progress I was making with the prosthesis ended with me on top of the world. The same determination will eventually have me running a 5K with the prosthesis. For now I have the time to acclimate on my own to using the prosthesis because I am not waiting on the leg to restart my life. I can spend the rest of my winter weekends trying to hobble around fighting with the prosthesis, or spend them out enjoying life on the slopes with my wife and kids. I choose skiing. For the past six years I had no choice but to fight with a painful leg, and now I have a choice.

At my two-month follow-up with my surgeon he said, “I removed the leg, so are you skiing?” At my next appointment I can report, “I sure am.”

It doesn’t matter what you use – legs, prosthesis, crutches, wheelchair – use whatever works, just get out and do it. Never give up!

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